an exercise in giving upI don’t know what I’m doing in this place.
My bones ache to take me away – to take me anywhere but here. But my heart remembers this place and its beat is racing, pumping blood into the far corners of my body, making my limbs too heavy to move. But I want to leave so badly, with every part of my being, but the one. My heart still belongs here…even after all these years.
I don’t remember the last time I saw your face.
But I can tell you that I still hear your voice in my dreams. In the deepest of sleeps, you’re still alive inside of me, deep within the folds of my heart, the dark spaces of my imagination. You’re alive there, even though I know nothing of where you are in reality. I know nothing of you anymore. Maybe that’s for the better. Maybe. Maybe.
I can’t recall the first time that I heard time will make it better.
But I do know that my mom repeats it to me every Saturday when I go to visit her in that old house that’s fu
i hold my own wrist,
as if it's broken,
'cause there are no hands,
available left to hold it.
to rest in the base
of your touch cannot happen.
it's much too tough to ask.
so i sit staring
into a blank field,
body in reverie,
mind in ennui,
sick of you and i.
i love you
but hate i fell too
deep into the pool,
of what I thought was true.
5 feet, 5 inches,
around my 5'7'' frame,
now left a shell.
my arms hold me,
as i clutch my abdomen,
and rest against the floor.
i lie there,
knowing the pain
will finally stop
that it's just beginning.
because the hardest
part about this,
is loving a ghost
that isn't dead in body,
but in your mind,
and you can't kill her,
no matter how much
you wanna take the gun
and pull the trigger.
so i let pellucid phantoms
perplex the crevices
of my intricate labyrinth.
and i let the apparition
fly around inside,
before it fades and dissipates,
just like the b
StuckImagine there's a girl that you've known for a little while.
She's cute, and bubbly, and you genuinely enjoy hearing about her day.
You see her more and more now, and you become friends.
She compliments you and you feel all gooey inside.
That's when you realize you might have feelings for her,
And you don't want to, because you're friends now.
But you can't help it.
When you see her, you just can't stop that dumb grin that plasters your face,
Smiling helplessly and staring at her,
Because each time you catch a glimpse of her,
She's suddenly the most beautiful person you've ever met.
And when she asks for a piggy back ride for the third time that day, you of course oblige,
But you know you're just sinking in quicksand.
And when she sits on your lap or leans her head on your shoulder,
You know you're almost under.
And when she begs you to hold her,
You hug her from behind with your hands clasped over her stomach,
And her hands holding yours.
Right then, you can't help but notice how
Being Okay Is The Hardest Thing We DoBeing Okay Is The Hardest Thing We Do
because being okay is expected,
if we’re not okay, that’s not okay,
what can we do to be okay?
we can scribble illegible words
on a canvas made for by painters
masquerading as notebook paper,
and hope that we can sell the burn
of stinging emotions for some paper.
but the funny thing about that thought?
is that american money isn’t paper,
it’s 75% cotton and 25% linen fibers.
so even the money you'd earn from your misery,
isn't anything you can write on
when you realize your money isn't
made to heal. even if it does talk.
but it never really ever says enough, does it?
But that's okay...
being okay is the hardest thing we do
because sticks and stones do break bones,
but you can hide the scars
with a jacket or longer sweatshirt.
or put on pants as opposed to athletic shorts.
words kill, words heal, and words are so much more.
and you can't hide the scars that riddle your face,
the way your
here is my heart, and here is my home.i am done writing about
you can find me
in the "new beginnings"
isle, splashed with scar tissue and
dear child, open your
there are stars, a galaxy, and
there is breath in your lungs.
the past is never
you have lived through it,
swam through it and
maybe died a little
through it, but you
came out on top.
when this winter ends, it
will end harshly;
but spring comes every year,
and i hope that you
i hope you open your eyes
to rain and i hope
that you fall in love with
it, and i hope
that you let life move
like i had to.
HesitationAching sorrow and torment
Pain claimed solely mine
This is my lament
What a pitiful whine
Oh ruinous fool that I am!
For what stars were I waiting for?
What peak of love hesitated to climb?
I stalled, hoping only for more
Curse my simple fate
And scourge away this pain
Blind patience did I wait
All the while going insane
I thought perhaps the heavens would align
Feed me the perfect string of words
Rhyming poetry, a celestial sign
But dead seeds unfit even for birds
Thus is the fruit of my hesitation
Nurtured not a lasting bond
For this drought of separation
Only a cold tie, not fond
On whom shall I pin this blame?
Why, on the greatest of oafs it should be!
On me pinned must be all shame!
Both deaf and dumb, and never to see!
How I let this all slip by
Passed with foresight fully knowing
For what reason, oh why?
Destruction I’ll forever be sowing
If only this broken heart could make amends
Turn back time, reverse the sands